Daesh is another term for Islamic State, or ISIS. Dash is a non-terrorist doggy’s name. Chase is a bank run by idiots.
Bruce Francis, who is not a terrorist, transferred some money to his dog walker to pay for services to his pit bull, and wrote the dog’s name, “Dash,” in the notes field.
The alert but stupid patriots at Chase Bank thought that Dash might be a sneaky way of spelling Daesh, decided that this was very stupid but still possible terrorist money-laundering, and stopped the payment, froze Francis’ account, and urgently notified the Treasury Department that he was a suspected terrorist.
Quite a day’s work.
It’s hard to know what’s stupidest about this: that the bank thought that Daesh was the kind of thing that a terrorist sympathizer would use to help mark out laundered payments, that the bank subsequently insisted that “this is an important part of ensuring that crime does not filter through the US banking system,” or that Francis himself thinks that being put out and branded as a terrorist somehow made him safer.
See, despite what happened, Francis said he had no hard feelings. “I think anything we can do to stop the terrorists and the funding of terrorists, let’s do it. And if it means an inconvenience to me and my dog walker, then that’s a price I’m totally willing to pay.”
Bruce Francis, everytime you say something that freaking stupid, the terrorists win. I hope your name sticks inside some file somewhere in the TSA so every time you try and fly you get butt searched by a guy wearing a really big ring. For freedom.